I'm going to do something stupid. I'm going to let you in on a little secret. Losing weight won't make you happy. I know you think it will, but it won't. I thought it would, too. I doubt I ever put it into distinct words in my head, but there was always this lingering idea that if I could just hit my goal weight, everything in my life would fix itself. Then I hit my goal weight. That was a fairly awesome day, but my life wasn't perfect. There were still things about me that I didn't like. So I pushed through- New Goal! That's what I needed! So I aimed for a new body fat %, a new clothing size, and a new program that I needed to finish. Along the way, I realized that all the exercise and clean eating in the world wasn't going to fix my massive spare tire of skin. Surgery! That's what I needed. Once I have THAT, everything will fall into place. If I have a flat tummy and I can wear a two piece, there are no troubles after that. Anyone who can rock a bikini has to have a perfect life. Right?
.....
Right?
......
I know as you read this, you are probably thinking I'm pretty ridiculous. OF COURSE weight loss won't make you happy. Everyone KNOWS that. Maybe intellectually, we do, but deep down, we all still think there has to be this perfect fix. It might not be weight loss. There are plenty of other goals that we perch our entire existence on. When I make X amount of money.... When I run a half marathon.... When I get married... When I move to that prestigious neighborhood..... When I earn that corner office.... When we have a big family with 4 kids.... When I buy that boat.... When I open up my own business...
You get the point.
I know better, yet I find myself running into the same trap over and over again. I did it with my Personal Training certification, my surgery, and my recent convention. All great goals, but none of them "fixed" my life. Don't misunderstand me- I AM happy. I'm happy with my life; I love my job, I adore my husband and I have the best girls in the world. Life is very, very good. Its just not perfect. No matter how many personal goals I achieve, I still have problems with time management. My house is still a wreck. My kids still fight. I still get cranky. I don't get to nap whenever I want to. I still have to limit my beer and coffee. What kind of evil world is this?!
When I started getting in shape, I just wanted to fit in a plane seat. Now I want to rock a string bikini and look good running in a sports bra. I love new goals. They keep me motivated and give me something to drive for. I enjoy being ambitious. I need that constant momentum to push me. The downside is that its very easy to feel constantly, vaguely inadequate. If my goal is to run in a sports bra, then in order to stay focused, I have to keep reminding myself how terrible I would look running in a sports bra right now. That's how it works, isn't it? You look in the mirror and tell yourself how flabby and gross your stomach is and it makes you run to the gym and not want to eat junk food. Right? Actually, no. Maybe the first day, but the second or third day it might make you run for the ice cream instead.
I read and listen to a lot on personal development. My favorite Psychology class in college (yes, that's what my very pretty, very useless degree hanging on my wall is in) was called Behavior Modification and that is my personal obsession. Whether its modifying the behavior of your dog, your husband, your annoying neighbor, or yourself, I think its a fascinating subject. When it comes to achieving goals, almost all the experts agree that it requires three things. 1. You have to have a definitive, measurable goal. 2. You need a plan of action and 3. You have to behave as if you have already achieved your goal. That last one has always been the hardest for me, especially when it comes to losing weight. I remember thinking, "Yeah, right! I can't act as if I've already lost 100 lbs. I have to work up the courage to walk into the gym when I don't fit in my clothes and I get winded going up the stairs! You people just don't get it!" But the fact is, at some point I stopped focusing on how fat I was and started pretending that I was the person at the front of the room. I told myself that I was a fitness addict and now that's exactly what I am. I pretended I was a fitness instructor and personal trainer helping others get in shape, and now that's exactly what I am. At 100 lbs overweight, that all seemed pretty ridiculous. After researching the power of visualization, I went to the gym and slid the weighted scale to my goal weight and took a picture. Then every day, I would imagine stepping on the scale and moving the numbers over and having it balance while looking at that picture.
No, hitting that goal weight won't magically make you happy. But if you act as if you are already there, you can be happy NOW and hit your goals. Get up every morning and tell yourself, "I am fit and healthy." and then work on believing it.
.....
Right?
......
I know as you read this, you are probably thinking I'm pretty ridiculous. OF COURSE weight loss won't make you happy. Everyone KNOWS that. Maybe intellectually, we do, but deep down, we all still think there has to be this perfect fix. It might not be weight loss. There are plenty of other goals that we perch our entire existence on. When I make X amount of money.... When I run a half marathon.... When I get married... When I move to that prestigious neighborhood..... When I earn that corner office.... When we have a big family with 4 kids.... When I buy that boat.... When I open up my own business...
You get the point.
I know better, yet I find myself running into the same trap over and over again. I did it with my Personal Training certification, my surgery, and my recent convention. All great goals, but none of them "fixed" my life. Don't misunderstand me- I AM happy. I'm happy with my life; I love my job, I adore my husband and I have the best girls in the world. Life is very, very good. Its just not perfect. No matter how many personal goals I achieve, I still have problems with time management. My house is still a wreck. My kids still fight. I still get cranky. I don't get to nap whenever I want to. I still have to limit my beer and coffee. What kind of evil world is this?!
When I started getting in shape, I just wanted to fit in a plane seat. Now I want to rock a string bikini and look good running in a sports bra. I love new goals. They keep me motivated and give me something to drive for. I enjoy being ambitious. I need that constant momentum to push me. The downside is that its very easy to feel constantly, vaguely inadequate. If my goal is to run in a sports bra, then in order to stay focused, I have to keep reminding myself how terrible I would look running in a sports bra right now. That's how it works, isn't it? You look in the mirror and tell yourself how flabby and gross your stomach is and it makes you run to the gym and not want to eat junk food. Right? Actually, no. Maybe the first day, but the second or third day it might make you run for the ice cream instead.
I read and listen to a lot on personal development. My favorite Psychology class in college (yes, that's what my very pretty, very useless degree hanging on my wall is in) was called Behavior Modification and that is my personal obsession. Whether its modifying the behavior of your dog, your husband, your annoying neighbor, or yourself, I think its a fascinating subject. When it comes to achieving goals, almost all the experts agree that it requires three things. 1. You have to have a definitive, measurable goal. 2. You need a plan of action and 3. You have to behave as if you have already achieved your goal. That last one has always been the hardest for me, especially when it comes to losing weight. I remember thinking, "Yeah, right! I can't act as if I've already lost 100 lbs. I have to work up the courage to walk into the gym when I don't fit in my clothes and I get winded going up the stairs! You people just don't get it!" But the fact is, at some point I stopped focusing on how fat I was and started pretending that I was the person at the front of the room. I told myself that I was a fitness addict and now that's exactly what I am. I pretended I was a fitness instructor and personal trainer helping others get in shape, and now that's exactly what I am. At 100 lbs overweight, that all seemed pretty ridiculous. After researching the power of visualization, I went to the gym and slid the weighted scale to my goal weight and took a picture. Then every day, I would imagine stepping on the scale and moving the numbers over and having it balance while looking at that picture.
No, hitting that goal weight won't magically make you happy. But if you act as if you are already there, you can be happy NOW and hit your goals. Get up every morning and tell yourself, "I am fit and healthy." and then work on believing it.
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